Friday, November 23, 2012

Crowded Lonely People

I'm surrounded by people having a good time
And I try to have a good time
At least look the part
But I'm Charlie Brown
And everyone’s speaking
And I don't understand or care
What they're saying
Because I'm in my mind somewhere
Under the sky
Mouth open wide
Catching fat acid snowflakes
On my tongue
Because it's real.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Just let me get my first song out

i just let me get this first song out
you'll fell haunted in between....
i am so done with you
your lies
 your sarcasm
bleeding me dry
i'm done with your
bullshit love
i'm done with your patrinizing
hard kissed dove
so you want her?
you need her?
then get over me
you love her?N
you want her?
get ov er me
tell me of a time when i'm wanted
just me and nothing else
in between
tell me of a time i can flaunt it
with you not fantacising
in between
in your head
those VIVID
or so you said
i see how
YOOOOUU arrrre
i seeeee howww
yoooouuuuuuu staaart
i dont want it
i don't need it
or anything in BE TWEE NNNN
go screw yourself
or something in

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

What He Wants

And I'm faced with a daily challenge. To do good or bad. I usually do bad.

God knows I can do bad. He also knows I can do good...that's yet to be proven, at least in my view. I run into situations daily, hourly even, where I could do good. Usually, though, I've before hand chosen to mix my thoughts with alchohol or drugs...and I am of the opionion that those things distort my opinion. Sometimes there are exceptions. But not usually.

If I were a more faithful servent, I could answer questions better. I could DO better. But I guess that's what God's all about...not our acts but our willingness to belive.

Why does this sound like a New Age "Christian" wrote this....??

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Don't Mix Holy Water & Spite

"I love the church now, and it scares me. I still listen to and seek out recordings of the preacher Carlton Pearson. I am a lover of gospel music until the day I die. But to be honest, when friends invite me to church, I usually find an excuse not to go because I’m afraid that someone behind the pulpit will at any moment attempt to erase or degrade my existence as a gay man. It’s not a comfortable feeling, not a feeling with which to enter a house of worship."  -Facebook post from one of my friends

Fellow Christians. Friends. I'm calling you out...

Where are you on the gay issue? If you're like me then you consider it a sin, just as God said in the Bible.


Where are you on the greed issue? If you're like me you consider that a sin too.

 The theft issue? The sober issue? Oh and what about the vanity issue?  The list goes on.

"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"(Romans 3:23 KJV)

Keyword: "all"...
Sin is sin. Why is it that we Christians feel compelled (or "obligated") to ferrett out which sin behaviors to persecute? Yes, persecute.

I am saddened by any Christian mindset that sets some tier-based system on which to classify type of sin. Yeah, your vanity is just as sinful as Jake's homosexuality. Sin is sin.

I am a Christian- the Lord saved me and He did not judge me according to my sin- His forgiveness saved me. His acceptance of ME, of even my unrighteousness, is what saved me- He loves me and ACCEPTS me despite my own sin. I imagine the same goes for you, fellow Christian?

Concerns with our current M.O.- why are we persecuting particular sin(s)? Have we hand-picked those sins that we deem unacceptable against those that God forgives?

God forgives all sin. He also asks us to accept one another and not to judge- because that is His job. Remember?

Let's get off of our proverbial (definition #2 in Mirium Webster) high-horse, fellow Christians, and go back to basics. Basics being the reliance on the LORD's influence and control. If you believe in Him then believe on Him.

Sin=Sin matter what form it takes. God knows each of us. He is in control. God is not a politician and politicians are not Gods. Nor are our "laws" necessarily God's laws. We might want to leave Judgement up to the Master- let's let God handle His own.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Stuff they don't say

What feels right what feels wronng
Everything but me stuck on the throne
of the people that exist
love, high, nothing-ness
Evil-- which is IT
sounds like politics
occupy don't mean shit
not what i mean
there's something in between
don't you see it?
don't you feel it?
you used to
if you didn't
i'm sad for you
people may be people
but what do the believe
and of whom do they decieve
they deceive
themselves and you and me
but not you know Who
the One we can't talk about
without feeling personified
but we like being people
and being objectified
See me? I see you too.
You see me feeling guilty
I see you too
We're not that different
not at all
Investigate my principles
I'll investigate  yours too
because we're not different
We are the same
Will you help me?"
with that grim look upon  your face
sure i will
come with me
we are the same
But you refuse to be saved
I used to too
Please Good Lord, bring you to faith
Help Him help you
help me help me
help me
help You, Dear Lord
please change this old fractured heart
's of ours
Thank You for saving me
when no one else could

Sunday, March 11, 2012

My senior year at UT...first field project...the first assignment required we gather feedback from someone close to us, preferably a parent, in regard to my development and "thinking"...naturally, I asked my mother to complete. Afterall, she's a psychotherapist and should have some intelligent and constructive feedback, right? Well...her response is remarkable, what a peach. Something I can hold close to my heart forever...maybe even share with the grandkids. (hopefully you've detected my level of sarcasm)


Due to this and other extenuating circumstances, I dropped out of my Senior year at college a few days after this...

Course Information:

Course Instructor: Peg Syverson

Course Number: WGS 345/RHE379

Course title: Theory and Practice Outside the Academy

Course ID number: 48410/44865

Term: spring

Year: 2007


Interview with another person who knows you well--for example a parent, or other family member, close friend, or teacher. Please identify the person (first name only) and how long he or she has known you. The interview should focus on the person's impressions of your development as a reader, writer, and thinker. If you have completed a Learning Record interview like this in another class recently, you may use it here.


Interviewee (first name):


Relationship to you:


Interview date:

February 1, 2007
K was read to from an early age and could memorize and reiterate well before she learned to read in kindergarten. She has done any assigned reading and performed quite well whenever her comprehension of the material was tested, but recreational reading never seemed to be a favorite pastime of hers. K has always displayed a great talent for writing, but she truly began to enjoy it while in high school.  During this period, she began to write poetry, short stories, musings, and essays both in and out of the classroom. K was talking by the time she was 10 months old and was speaking in full sentences by 18mos. Because she could speak so well for her age and was an only child, she tended to primarily converse with adults.  This allowed her to develop negotiation and debating skills well beyond her years, but may also be responsible for her proclivity toward a more confrontational and manipulative conversational style.  K has NEVER developed a talent for listening, especially to her mother.  Because of her adversarial manner of speaking she tends to hear without listening, often formulating a response before the other person is finished speaking and, therefore, may not assimilate their message to its fullest extent. Although she was always argumentative, she seemed to listen and obey until around the age of 12-13yrs.  After that, she tuned me out unless she needed money….

Saturday, June 25, 2011

i take my self-reflection medium-rare...

Cease then, nor order imperfection name:
Our proper bliss depends on what we blame.
Know thy own point: This kind, this due degree
Of blindness, weakness, Heav'n bestows on thee.
Submit.--In this, or any other sphere,
Secure to be as blest as thou canst bear:
Safe in the hand of one disposing pow'r,
Or in the natal, or the mortal hour.
All nature is but art, unknown to thee;
All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;
All discord, harmony, not understood;
All partial evil, universal good:
And, spite of pride, in erring reason's spite,
One truth is clear, Whatever is, is right.

- Alexander Pope, "An Essay on Man"